When Comparison Causes Me to Doubt My Worth

I shouldn’t have come, I thought. I scanned the crowded room, searching for a familiar face. I took an awkward side-step out of the way as a group of giggling girlfriends came toward me. A quick glance at the door told me I might be able to exit without anyone noticing. Before making my getaway, the host intercepted and led me to an empty table.

Enthusiasm filled the air, but to me it felt as distant as the ladies laughing and joking with each other. In the midst of all the hugs, selfies, and squeals of new friendships forming, I couldn’t help but feel something missing. Like they all had something I didn’t - companionship, belonging. And with every pang of longing felt, the voice of comparison grew louder and louder. Before I realized it, my compulsion to compare caused me to question my worth.

A woman in Scripture named Leah knew a thing or two about comparison. From the first moment we meet her, we get a glimpse of her countenance through the look in her eyes.

“There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face,” (Genesis 29:17 NLT).

Leah led a sparkle-free life. Her special qualities concealed inside. She was just an ordinary girl who didn’t see anything super special about herself.

From where she stood, her sister Rachel seemed to have it all - beauty, her father’s affection, her husband Jacob’s love. When the two sisters were together, heads always turned toward Rachel. Leah had grown used to that, so it didn’t surprise her when Jacob favored her younger sister. And focusing on Rachel only magnified her emptiness.

When we compare, we turn our focus away from God. We let negative self-talk determine our worth. By seeing all she was missing, Leah allowed comparison to steal her shine. But God saw something more. He saw her as the woman He created - real, wonderful, magnificent.

“How magnificent are Your works, Lord, how profound your thoughts,” (Psalm 92:5 HCSB).

Leah may have gotten caught up in competition with Rachel, but when she turned her eyes toward God, she discovered her true worth. From Leah’s story, we can learn an important truth.

When we look at ourselves and see mediocre, God looks at us and sees magnificent. (Tweet this.)

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Leah’s story brings hope today. It shows us we’re not alone in the battle with comparison. If we will let Him, God will fill the missing pieces in our hearts in the most beautiful ways, just like he did for me that night. God used a new friend at a simple gathering of women to reach out to this lonely girl. Just as I’d resolved to go hide in the bathroom, a brave young lady joined me at the table. We chatted, we connected, and best of all we found comfort in encouraging one another instead of comparing.

Just like Leah, we too can focus our gaze on God and discover our worth in our Heavenly Father. So let’s silence the voice of comparison today and see ourselves as God sees us. We are valuable. We are loved. We are His magnificent creation.

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!” (Psalm 139:17 NLT).

 

Blessings,

Kristine

 

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Am I Letting My Role Define My Worth?

I sat on the top row of metal bleachers, squinting to see  my right fielder. I’d officially joined the ranks of little league parents, and let me tell ya. This was definitely the place to be.

Everyone from town was there, and I mean everyone. There I was among them, an official baseball mom. But it felt like something was missing.

As I looked out from that top bench, I caught a perfect view of the backs of all the other moms in the stands. And there before me, I found it. The coveted prize.

 

The mom t-shirt, and I wanted one.

 

From my vantage point it was like a sea of brightly-colored jerseys adorned with the names of their respective kids.

BLAKE'S MOM

JASON'S MOM

TEAM DAKOTA

...and on and on...

 

I needed to get one of those. After all, how great would it be to have “GARRETT'S MOM” printed across my back when he hit that game-winning home run? Everyone would point my way, knowing full-well who he belonged to.

But who does he belong to?

 

With that one question, God’s sweet Spirit gave me a much-needed heart check. I took a pause from thinking about the mom shirt and asked God to examine my motives. His Word gives me the freedom to do that in Psalm 51:10.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (ESV)

I sensed my prideful nature taking over. Would I flaunt the mom t-shirt when he scored a 100 on his math test and then tuck it away in the bottom drawer when the principal called home with a bad report? Would he think making me proud gave him worth?

Because honestly, I had moments when I attached my value to my role as a mom. I sometimes fell into the trap of letting his actions define me, and that put a heaping load of pressure on my child to perform.

But when God calls us to motherhood, He doesn’t intend for that role to define who we are. One of the most well-known moms in history knew that, which is what made her the right person for the job.

Her name was….well, we don’t even know her name. And that’s OK. When our identity is grounded in Christ, our name isn’t all that important.

A certain man of Zorah, named Manoah, from the clan of the Danites, had a wife who was childless, unable to give birth. The angel of the Lord appeared to her and said, “You are barren and childless, but you are going to become pregnant and give birth to a son… He will take the lead in delivering Israel from the hands of the Philistines.” Judges 13:2-5 NIV

The Bible describes her as Manoah’s wife. God sent an angel to her with incredible news. At a time when the Israelites had been oppressed by the Philistines for 40 years, she would give birth to a son who would lead the charge toward freedom for God’s people.

The angel gave her a pretty detailed list of instructions to follow too. No doubt God knew her heart. He knew she could be trusted to take care of it. God rewards those who earnestly seek Him, and He exalts those who humble themselves.

She had every reason to get caught up in her role as a mother. Her son Sampson would have an important job to do.

But even though we know her as Samson’s mom, God knew her as obedient and trustworthy. And from her example, we can learn this valuable truth.

 

When we know where our identity rests, we find peace in the role we've been given. (Tweet this.)

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“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 NIV

Manoah's wife knew her Lord, and because of her great faith she was able to fulfill the task before her.

Whatever role we are in today, we can have confidence in our identity as children of God. When we do, we will find immeasurable joy in the roles we’ve been given.

 

Many years have passed since that first day on the metal bleachers. Our time in little league didn’t last long, but other adventures and activities followed. Now, as we enjoy his final year as a senior in high school, guess what I finally purchased? My very own mom shirt. (See below.)

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I can wear my mom shirt with a spirit of encouragement instead of pride, cheering him on as he steps out into adulthood.

Knowing our worth is in Christ brings freedom to enjoy the roles he so graciously gives us.

Kristine