Letting Comparison Cause Me to Doubt My Worth

My life hasn’t always been about good choices, all tied up into a neat little bow. For a time, good decisions seemed to fade into the background, pushed out by a more prominent desire to find myself in a world where that was the cool thing to do.

I found my worth through the world’s view.

Letting comparison cause me to doubt my worth.

Good choices came and went, but they were never quite able to pull me away from my all-about-me attitude. Then one day, someone invited me to church. That’s where I met Jesus.

I learned about how Jesus gave himself as a sacrifice so that I could have the chance to live with Him in heaven one day. And not only that, but also the abundant life God freely gives to those who know Him. That day, I made the best choice of all. I accepted Him.

Discovering the Source of Our Worth


You’d think such a stellar decision would set me on an easy path toward change. But I soon found that change could only come through hard places.

As much as I tried, I couldn’t get past the unworthiness I felt deep in my heart. Considering the way I’d lived, how could I truly be forgiven? What about my past mistakes?

I began to look at other faith-filled women with awe. Women who served our Savior with grace and poise. How beautiful they were! They all certainly deserved a place at the Master’s table. But me? Not so much. Instead of looking to them as mentors and choosing to learn from their example, I started to compare.

I measured my first days as a new Christian against their years of serving the Lord, and I didn’t measure up.

This struggle with comparison caused me to question my value. Yet God used it for my ultimate good by sending me on a remarkable journey to discover who He created me to be.

To find my true worth in my relationship with Jesus.

I didn’t realize how many times the voice of comparison had whispered into my life in that sneaky way it has. But as I learned to recognize its ways and stay alert to its dangers, a miracle happened. I began to uncover what God’s Word says about comparison and how I could conquer it once and for all.

What the Bible Says About Our Worth


“If you are content to simply be yourself, you will become more than yourself” (Luke 14:11 MSG).

This verse initiated a turning point in my life. I discovered even more deep truths in God’s Word about who he says we are, and how he feels about us. Through this key verse and others, God uncovered my own battle with comparison and how it led to feeling unworthy of his love.

And He will do the same for you, too.

Is It Possible to Conquer Comparison?

Conquering comparison is an ongoing challenge, but with Jesus the answer is yes, it is possible. Because I believe with all my heart that God’s love for us in infinite. He helps us let go of the not-so-wise choices of the past and embrace who we are in Christ today.

Oh, I haven’t arrived just yet. None of us have. But with encouragement and hope from God’s powerful Word, I am well on my way to being able to say, “I’m worthy,” and meaning it.

Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to silence the voice of comparison in your own life? It is, my friend, but I’m not going to sugar-coat the truth for you. It takes a commitment to more of God and His Word. The journey toward change may not be all pretty and perfect, but it will definitely be worth it.

Let’s make a choice today. Let’s dare not to compare, and find the truth about our worth. “We are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do the good works he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

Interested in learning more about overcoming comparison from the stories of three women in the Bible? You can find out more in my book Over It. Stop by and visit the book page here.

What to Do When God Is Quiet

Some seasons are quieter than others. I remember not so long ago when getting a quiet moment to myself felt beyond reach. A full time teaching job, a classroom of kids every day, family activities on the weekends, all contributed to a full, busy, and noisy life. It was anything but quiet.

Now, I’d love to have a little noise back in the daily routine. Noise keeps my mind and heart occupied, leaving little room for wandering into loneliness or discouragement. When it’s quiet, I can get carried away in my own thoughts.

This season has brought more quiet than I expected, so I’ve had to lean into the silence. To seek more of God in my quiet times. To have conversations with Him instead of in my own head. (That happens a lot when I’m surrounded by too much quiet.)

But we don’t have to be in a quiet season to feel like God is quiet.

There are times when I can’t hear Him. When I long to have a discussion with God, but the conversation feels one-sided. I talk and talk but hear nothing in return. I know God is here, always. His Word confirms it, so why are there times when I can’t hear His voice?

Is God Really Silent?

Sometimes when I pray, I don’t sense an answer from God right away. I start analyzing the possible reason for His silence. I wonder if maybe it’s a test, and He’s waiting to see what I will do while He looks on from a distance. I search and search for an answer in His Word, because I’ve heard that the answer to every problem can be found there.

But after exhausting all my efforts and coming up empty, I feel defeated. Silence leads to loneliness, and I question why He would leave me to face my problem alone.

I’ve realized that too much quiet can lead my thoughts down a dangerous path. So when quiet seasons leave me feeling alone with only my thoughts to keep my company, I need to begin by reminding myself of the truth. God cares, and He will never leave us alone.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 ESV

I’m so thankful for the access we have to God’s Word. A quick topic search can lead me to hope-filled verses I can count on in difficult times. Scripture is alive, active, and relevant to our needs. So the truth is that as long as we have God’s Word with us, God is never silent. He is with us wherever we go in a very tangible way. When I carry God’s Word with me, I have Him with me.

Help for When We Don’t Hear God

If we know the truth that God is not silent, how can we keep our minds from wandering into dangerous territory? How can we keep the quiet from getting to us?

If you’re struggling today with feeling like God is quiet, I understand. There are steps we can take to ensure we keep our minds and hearts grounded in the truth of God’s faithfulness. Here are four tips we can try when God is quiet. These have each been helpful to me, and I pray you find them helpful, too.

  • Look for the truth that God is here, even if we don’t hear anything.

Just like the verse I shared above in Joshua 1:9, the Bible is filled with encouraging verses to remind us about God’s powerful presence. When we seek encouragement from Scripture, we will find it.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

If you sense negative things like frustration or bitterness working their way into your heart in the quiet, seek out verses about God’s presence to bring you comfort.

  • Ask God to show us ways He is working, even if we don’t see anything changing.

My neighborhood is filled with all types of birds. On quiet days, I listen to the sounds of chirping outside, and it always brings to mind familiar verses about how God cares for them. In the same way, God is constantly working on our behalf. He loves and cares for us more than we can imagine. When we ask God to reveal ways He is working in our lives and the lives of our loved ones, He is gracious to bring to mind blessings we hadn’t noticed before.

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26

  • Turn our focus toward others. How can we support, help, or encourage someone today?

Just last week I was dealing with an illness that would not subside. Staying indoors and away from others made me feel even worse. I mentioned this to my subscribers in the weekly email I send, and several readers emailed me back with heartfelt prayers for a quick recovery.

Each message I received uplifted me in a way that I can’t explain. Those prayers meant so much to me and inspired me to do the same for others.

I for one can get very self-focused in my time alone. I don’t mean to think only about myself; it just happens. I talk and talk to myself until I get absorbed in what’s going on in my own life. This self-awareness makes God’s silence seem even more deafening. Thinking about ways to support other people gets my mind away from my own problems and shifts my focus outward.

What ways can we offer help to others today? Through prayer, a friendly message, or a gift? When we shift our focus, we may even find that we become one of the ways God is working to bless someone else. (See #2 above.)

  • Keep a prayer list or journal.

There’s a space in the front of my daily planner to write prayers, with an added space to record God's answers. I spend a lot of my quiet time looking over that list. It’s my go-to place when I need to focus my heart on good things and want my quiet time to be productive. (See #3.)

Some of those prayers have been answered. Some spaces are still blank. But as I read my list, I feel renewed hope deep in my spirit. I know without a doubt of God’s unfailing love for us. I am reminded how much He cares.

If I don’t write things down, I can easily forget God’s faithfulness of the past. And I don’t want to forget. I want to remember every answered prayer, and even the unanswered ones. Journaling helps me reflect on the goodness of God.

Are you having trouble hearing God? Are you questioning why He has been silent in your life? I’m glad you’re here, reading this right now. Because I believe God speaks through his people to offer life-giving words when we can’t hear Him. He is here in our midst at this very moment, whispering love, comfort, and peace to our longing hearts.

May we grow in the knowledge of our Lord through the quiet and trust He is here.