When Comparison Causes Me to Doubt My Worth

I shouldn’t have come, I thought. I scanned the crowded room, searching for a familiar face. I took an awkward side-step out of the way as a group of giggling girlfriends came toward me. A quick glance at the door told me I might be able to exit without anyone noticing. Before making my getaway, the host intercepted and led me to an empty table.

Enthusiasm filled the air, but to me it felt as distant as the ladies laughing and joking with each other. In the midst of all the hugs, selfies, and squeals of new friendships forming, I couldn’t help but feel something missing. Like they all had something I didn’t - companionship, belonging. And with every pang of longing felt, the voice of comparison grew louder and louder. Before I realized it, my compulsion to compare caused me to question my worth.

A woman in Scripture named Leah knew a thing or two about comparison. From the first moment we meet her, we get a glimpse of her countenance through the look in her eyes.

“There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face,” (Genesis 29:17 NLT).

Leah led a sparkle-free life. Her special qualities concealed inside. She was just an ordinary girl who didn’t see anything super special about herself.

From where she stood, her sister Rachel seemed to have it all - beauty, her father’s affection, her husband Jacob’s love. When the two sisters were together, heads always turned toward Rachel. Leah had grown used to that, so it didn’t surprise her when Jacob favored her younger sister. And focusing on Rachel only magnified her emptiness.

When we compare, we turn our focus away from God. We let negative self-talk determine our worth. By seeing all she was missing, Leah allowed comparison to steal her shine. But God saw something more. He saw her as the woman He created - real, wonderful, magnificent.

“How magnificent are Your works, Lord, how profound your thoughts,” (Psalm 92:5 HCSB).

Leah may have gotten caught up in competition with Rachel, but when she turned her eyes toward God, she discovered her true worth. From Leah’s story, we can learn an important truth.

When we look at ourselves and see mediocre, God looks at us and sees magnificent. (Tweet this.)


Leah’s story brings hope today. It shows us we’re not alone in the battle with comparison. If we will let Him, God will fill the missing pieces in our hearts in the most beautiful ways, just like he did for me that night. God used a new friend at a simple gathering of women to reach out to this lonely girl. Just as I’d resolved to go hide in the bathroom, a brave young lady joined me at the table. We chatted, we connected, and best of all we found comfort in encouraging one another instead of comparing.

Just like Leah, we too can focus our gaze on God and discover our worth in our Heavenly Father. So let’s silence the voice of comparison today and see ourselves as God sees us. We are valuable. We are loved. We are His magnificent creation.

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!” (Psalm 139:17 NLT).






Something exciting is coming...

God moves in ways that cause me to drop to my knees in humble awe of Him. Sometimes He gives us a hard circumstance and teaches us to trust as we walk through it. Other times He sets us high on a mountaintop, so we can discover the beauty all around us.

At all times, during the struggles and the victories, He is right there with us. Guiding us. Directing our steps.

Two months ago, I released a book about something God taught me. Little-ole me. I enjoyed getting to dig deep into His Word and discover answers I didn't know to a problem that plagued me for much of my life.

But today, I am on my  knees in awe because of the responses I've gotten from others who've read the book.

I'm amazed at God's faithfulness. He did just as He promised. He has been placing the book in the hands of those who desire to walk more closely with Him and grow in His Word. That. Is. Awesome.

From the beginning, I wrote Over It. Conquering Comparison to Live Out God's Plan so it could be used as a Bible study. I wanted the message to be relatable to new believers while also challenging seasoned Christians to find fresh inspiration in its pages. That way, women young and old could read the book together and use it as a guide for learning more from Scripture.

I am excited to announce that beginning in August, a FREE Over It Leader's Guide will be available for download on the book page. The guide will include suggested pacing, additional discussion starters, and video introductions for each chapter.

I'm a teacher, so I understand the time constraints associated with leading a women's group or book study. It would be nice to have everything you need, packed neatly into an easy-to-follow plan. So that's what I'm creating. And did I mention that it will be FREE?

I wanted to share this news with you first. You have been so supportive of my efforts in talking about the #OverItBook and helping women everywhere erase comparison and embrace all God has for them.

I know several of you have read Over It, and you've been so kind to let me know how it encouraged you. You've also asked if you could help in any way. I'm so incredibly thankful for your willingness and kindness. 

May I ask a favor of you?

If you enjoyed the book, would you send an email or text to someone you know who's involved in women's ministry at her church? Or maybe you could share this post with her. I'd love to let our friends know this resource will be available as they are planning for their fall Bible studies. And as always, I am open to chatting about the book and learning more ways to make it a great option for group study.

Do you have suggestions for me? I'd love to hear them. I can be reached through my contact page by clicking here. Thank you. You are a blessing to me.