Why is it so hard for us go-getter girls to ask for help?
Maybe we don’t want to be a bother. We’d rather take on an extra load than put someone else out. Maybe we like being the responsible one— we want our people to know they can count on us. We don’t want to look weak or incapable.
Whatever the reason, we’re in our element when we’re the helper, not so much when we’re the ones needing help.
For the past year, we’ve had more than a few conversations here at kristinebrown.net about trusting God. I revealed my own struggle with trust, and how I learned to trust Him like I mean it. I’ve shared several things we can do to move to a new level of trust, and how actively trusting God can bring us more peace and joy.
God brought me to a deeper understanding of what it means to trust, but that also brings up an important question. Do I trust God enough to allow others to help me when I need it?
Trusting others is hard, especially if we’ve put ourselves out there and been hurt in the process. But allowing others to help us has more to do with trusting God than we may think.
A Story of Helpful Friends in the Bible
I’ll admit, asking for help is hard for me. I’ve always been known as the girl who can get things done and still look like I have it all together. My battle with colorectal cancer changed all that. It put me in a vulnerable place where I needed to let go of control and accept help for even the seemingly simple tasks. It was uncomfortable and downright humbling. But God knew that’s exactly what I needed.
“Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a sleeping mat. They tried to take him inside to Jesus, but they couldn’t reach him because of the crowd. So they went up to the roof and took off some tiles. Then they lowered the sick man on his mat down into the crowd, right in front of Jesus.” Luke 5:18-19 NLT
I wonder if the paralyzed man felt the same vulnerability and discomfort I felt. His friends awkwardly hoisted him and his mat onto the roof. Dismantled someone’s house. Then lowered him inside through the manmade skylight.
I can only imagine how I would’ve reacted in his situation. Yet all that vulnerability brought him to a renewed level of trust in God’s plan over his own. By allowing others to carry him.
Friends, if we can grab hold of that, it will be life-changing.
I love that this man’s friends were a little bit over the top, and maybe even pushy. That’s the kind of friend who won’t let our insecurities get in the way of getting the aid we need. These friends let nothing stand in between their friend and the healing power of Jesus.
Everyone needs friends who will raise the roof with you.
In a recent article on the benefits of friendship to healthy living at susanuneal.com, I shared this:
“A good friend will walk alongside you through life’s trials and celebrate with you in life’s special moments.”
I cherish the friends who pushed their way through my tough exterior and found ways to help me. It’s still a struggle - saying yes when I want to put up walls of stone as I go through a difficult time. Sure, friends love celebrating together. It’s the trials part that gets tricky. We entertain lies instead of opening our hearts to the truth about God’s gift of friendships.
Let’s take a look at a few of the lies we believe, and how to exchange them for truth from God’s Word.
Letting People Help You
The lie we believe: I’m weak if I have to ask for help.
The truth: We’re stronger together.
The lie we believe: I’m being a bother.
The truth: My people love to help!
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
The lie we believe: They will resent me for asking.
The truth: They will be glad I asked and gave them the opportunity to serve.
I pray these truths will encourage you the next time you’re hesitant to ask for help from your people. Whether it’s cooking a meal, watching the kids for a few hours, or taking you to a doctor’s appointment. Whatever the need, giving those close to us a chance to serve us in desperate times draws us into deeper dependence on our Heavenly Father.
Let’s trust God enough to ask for help and watch Him work mightily in our situations.
